It’s common for partners to have disagreements about their children and how to raise them. You won’t always have the same views on how to do things, and that’s normal. These disagreements are to be expected.
What’s the Secret to Dealing With These Situations?
Communicate with each other!
Only good communication allows parents to work together as a team, helping to lessen the impact of disagreements over the kids.
Obviously, it’s not always easy to work as a team and present a united front. All parents have their own beliefs and values. We’re all influenced by our own childhood and life experiences, the opinions of people close to us, and everything we’ve read on the Internet or seen on TV!
It’s also challenging as the couple relationship undergoes the stresses and strains of everyday life, especially when the kids are young or have behavioral issues.
Why is it important?
Because children develop better in an environment:
- that is stable, predictable and loving
- that has few quarrels
- that demonstrates respectful communication
- where conflicts are resolved without resorting to anger or violence
How to go about this?
Point out when your partner does something right.
You’re at a store.
Your child wants candy.
Your partner refuses to buy her some.
Despite her crying and screaming, your partner sticks to his decision.
Applaud him and…give him a breather when you get home!
If you don’t agree with the way your partner handles a situation, wait. Find a time to calmly discuss what just happened. Have this conversation when the kids aren’t there or when they’re in bed.
- Tell your partner calmly what you didn’t like and explain why
- Take the time to listen and properly understand his/her point of view
- Avoid raising your voice and interrupting him/her
Support each other.
Your partner is getting impatient with helping your eldest child with his/her homework? Offer to take over for him. Set some time aside every day to talk about your day. Talk about pleasant and funny things that happened during the day, not just problems.
Easy to say but not always easy to do? A little help could be useful?
Find out about the Triple P activities that are offered near you.
Triple P Positive Parenting Program. Team Parents. Tip Sheets.